Taking a day

So, sort of a content warning? I was rereading this post before launching it out onto the interwebs — always a good standard practice — and I realized that, without some kind of caveat, it could come off sounding rather tone deaf.

I have to acknowledge that this was written from a place of great privilege, the biggest one being that my kids are all older and pretty much independently-functioning humans. Especially for all my fellow parents with younger kids, know that I see you and remember what it was like to be taking care of three children on your own.

I know there are people struggling with much more than me.

If you are struggling, feel free to stop reading here. Just know this: we're in this together and I will help out in any way I can.

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Still here? Okay, I also want to acknowledge the fact that everyone struggles at some point. Everyone. I can acknowledge my privileges and also acknowledge my human frailties. While keeping everything in perspective.

So while I know I am a very fortunate human, this has still been a crap-filled week after two crap-filled months in a thus-far crap-filled year (and for my kids, see note below about the “Independence Day” rule)...

I also start paragraphs with “So...” way to much. Note to self.

With that, I return you to your regularly scheduled programming...

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So yesterday I totally just took a day.

Took a day to process, to rest, to try and recover a bit.

Wasn’t my plan. I had things I needed to do. But my body had other ideas and it was a good thing I listened.

I slept. A LOT. I only popped onto social media a few times (well, only a few times for me). I watched a couple of movies online with my sister, my niblings, and a bunch of friends. I went back to bed.

More importantly, I kind of shut my brain down for a day, put it in powersave mode. Wait, that sounds like there was some kind of intention behind it. More accurate to say that my brain shut down for a day, went into powersave mode. (We can debate the philosophical underpinnings of that distinction some other day!)

I am a father. I fancy myself a “community-builder.” I skew hard to the extrovert side on any such scale. My first instinct is to take care of others. Taking time to care for myself, asking for help... that is, as we say in our household, “not currently one of my strengths.”

But I’m learning.

So yesterday I took a day, and it was a good thing.

Today, I’m still going to stay in my pjs, but I shaved, I made a coffee, I’m feeling more clearheaded than I have in days. There is more online socializing scheduled for tonight. Maybe I’ll go for a walk around the neighbourhood.

More importantly, I no longer feel quite so much like I’m just scrambling to catch up. Instead of “oh my god what’s next?!???”, I’m settling down to more of an “okay <deep breath> what’s next.”

I share all this as an act of self-care, a semi-public declaration that “wasting” yesterday was okay, was in fact good and necessary.

I also share this as an act of accountability, that today will not be the same because I don’t need it to be. I’ve got shit to get done. (And if my kids happen to read this, I’m invoking the “Independence Day” rule... I think a global pandemic counts...)

And I share this as an act of solidarity with everyone out there, all doing the best we can under extraordinary circumstances. When you can find a moment to take for yourself, take it without guilt. If you’ve got shit to get done, make a plan.

And if you need some help, ask.

Hang in there, everyone. Stay home. Wash your hands. Be good to one another.