I’ve been reminded a lot recently about the difference between looking for someone or something to blame, and looking for lessons to learn.

From the outside, the actions taken can look identical. At least initially.

I’ve had people in the past tell me not to look back and instead just look to the future. Don’t “dwell” on the past.

But sometimes taking a good, hard look at your past is important and necessary.

But then why you do it, and how you do it, matters.

Looking at your past can be a dangerous thing. And if you don’t go into the practice without first setting the intention, the line between blaming and learning gets very thin. Even with the right intentions, it’s so very easy to slip to the blaming side. And self-blame is sneaky and can come cleverly disguised.

What you did, why you did it, how you did it, based on what information and what interpretation of that information… so many places where things can go wrong, so many places where the wrong advice, or the right advice taken the wrong way, can turn out to be the exact opposite of what’s needed.

But then maybe therein lies the really hard lesson. Past and present aren’t so different. Right now, what you do, why you do it, how you do it, based on what information and what interpretation of that information… still so many places where things can go wrong, so many places where the wrong advice, or the right advice taken the wrong way, can turn out to be the exact opposite of what’s needed.

I’ve shared musings about this dilemma before, about how ‘courage’ and ‘stupidity’ look the same and that’s why life is hard and asking is it me or is it the world?

And silver bullets are hard to come by.

Yes, I am an overthinker, and am probably overthinking even now. But here again, the ultimate advice and response is “it depends…” Some people need to think more, some people need to think less, some people need to think differently. And sometimes I need to think more, sometimes I need to think less, sometimes I need to think differently.

And maybe sometimes I don’t need to think at all, as long as I keep trying.

Except when I don’t.

And… sometimes… that’s okay too.