Black Riders

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And that's why life is hard

Currently noodling around with the idea that part of "staying young" and not "getting old" involves, in part, actually growing up and becoming an actual fully-functioning adult human. Whatever that means.

(Note: this got long and meandering... feel free to bail out here!)

So it's maybe something to do with how part of the "trick" to "staying young" is no longer trying to stay young... and not resisting "adulting"... and maybe gaining the maturity and perspective to just be whatever you are... a person of a certain temporal age, in part, but really so much more.

A lot of "adult children" out there, and not in the good way... adults by age but not by conduct or thought?

Also a lot of "old souls" out there, who have, in some ways, been fully-functioning adults since childhood. But there's a good way and a bad way for that to happen too. Or rather, healthier and less healthy ways...

And a lot of lovely lovely self-aware grown ups who have retained their "child-like" wonder about the world, despite fully tackling the realities of "adulting" and responsibility and painful knowledge.

Is it that you need both? The inner child and the inner elder? And deprived of either, or when not in balance, you can't/don't operate as a fully realized human?

People who lost their childhood because of trauma and abuse? People who have never reached past to adulthood, maybe for the same reasons? People who ignore adult responsibilities trying to reclaim their youthful "freedom"? People who have forgotten their inner loves and joys under the weight of "the real world"?

Maybe that's part of my struggle with the kinds of advice and life philosophies that I see going around these... it may or may not apply to you, depending on if you're needing more inner child or more inner elder. Or for all the zombies out there, more of both.

Some people really should let go of worrying about what other people think of them. But some people really really need to start paying more attention to that.

Some people do need to look inward and fix themselves... yeah, sometimes it is you. But some people need to realize they aren't actually the broken one and that there are significant parts of the world that need fixing.

And I wonder how often whichever side you think you're on, is actually not. If you think you're "woke", you're probably not. If you think you're completely lost, you're probably not either.

And I think maybe we're all "some people"... and we're ALL of the some people, some of the time, or all at the same time.

There was a meme going around a while ago that said "Courage is knowing it might hurt, and doing it anyway. Stupidity is the same. And that's why life is hard." (I've seen it attributed to Jeremy Goldberg, but if anyone can confirm or knows a proper attribution, please let me know!)

Maybe it's all the possible variations of that idea that I'm pondering right now.

Nuance and shades of grey.

This plane of existence is both simpler and far more complex than we can properly comprehend. How you choose to filter all that reality is... the question on my mind right now...